


One Good Thing.

by Jolly Camaleonte (ginnyx)



Category: Metallica
Genre: Fake Interview, Fluff, Gen, Hardwired era, Interviews, Lars lovefest basically, a bit of hurt/comfort at the end for James, james/lars if you squint
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-04
Updated: 2020-02-04
Packaged: 2021-02-27 23:34:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,883
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22564087
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ginnyx/pseuds/Jolly%20Camaleonte
Summary: During the usual press circus for Hardwired, Lars learns something about himself and his bandmates.He also delivers an answer thirteen years in the making.-------AKA unrepentant Lars lovefest.
Relationships: James Hetfield & Lars Ulrich, Kirk Hammett & Lars Ulrich, Robert Trujillo & Lars Ulrich
Comments: 28
Kudos: 9





	One Good Thing.

You cough.

_This damn chest thing._

«Sorry, what was the last question again?»

The _last_ question for today, even.

Don’t get it wrong: it has been a nice interview, but it’s almost 4 p.m. and you are _wiped_.

«One thing good thing about your bandmates, that you like about them. One each.»

You laugh and then cough again.

«Wow. _One_ good thing?»

«Or more, if you feel inspired.»

You do an Oscar-worthy impression of The Thinker.

«How dumb my reply can be?» you ask, already grinning, absolutely amused by all the possible answers your mind is coming up with.

The interviewer blinks at you.

And mischief dries up very fast when met with silence.

_Just a beat, really._

«… As much as you want?»

Your eyes sober up quickly.

«Why that pause?»

The dude raises his hands, trying to wave off the issue.

«No, no: there was an awkward silence right there. Did I say something bad?»

The hands wave even more.

«No, no, really! It’s just…»

He turns and looks at the cameraman.

She looks right back at him.

«Is something… wrong?»

The duo stares at you, then again at themselves.

«Maybe we can show him?» she suggests, and the dude is already crossing his arms, frowning.

«I don’t like influencing the interviews I do.»

«C’mon, it’s not “influencing”, it’s more…»

 _It’s more like you are ignoring me_ , you don’t say.

«Uh, hello?» is what you actually say.

_Time to take back control of this interview._

«What’s going on here?»

They immediately shut up; and you see their eyes growing bigger and bigger with every step you take towards them.

«Someone cares to explain?»

̴

Long story short: you almost made a fool of yourself. Or more accurately _a dick_.

Apparently, the other guys have all said super nice and deep things and you were really a minute away from being the class clown –which is downright cringy when you are a fifty-something year old man.

And oh boy, do they show you how _much_.

«Listen, we usually don’t do this. _I_ don’t do this.»

«Yeah, it’s not even edited yet, of course, because it’s from hours ago and I didn’t have the time to do it.»

«Anyway… ah, here it is: the first one was Rob, and being that the last question –for all of you, we asked this as the last question— it should be… here.»

Clicking and adjusting timestamps aside, Rob’s face looks at you through the camera and smiles.

_And about Lars… oh man! I think that the main thing could be… is…_

_Ok, ok: I got it. It might be cheesy, it might not be ‘metal’, but I loooove how he cares._

_Really, the dude cares about EVERYTHING, and he is not faking it, he is not kissing ass or whatever. He genuinely cares about you, remembers little things you said and…_

_you know, in this business? –especially when business is THIS BIG like Metallica is— people don’t have time. I’ve learned that the hard way: you are busy, tired, you are everywhere at once and still have some other place to be, mentally and physically. It’s hard, man, you really start to wish for 28 hours days. But Lars? He does it, he has 28 hours days and he finds time for you. Because he cares._

_Just like with Tye, my son, he plays bass: they jam together sometime, and they have so much fun, I love watching them –I’m not always allowed to join in, he gets bored of his old man, eheh— even when we were on tour, Lars always encouraged him to come to the tuning room and jam a bit. So, I love that about him._

Then it’s Kirk and his new purple shoes’ turn.

_Who am I missing?_

_Lars?_

_Well, that’s easy: Lars is my buddy, and before I stopped drinking, he was also my drinking buddy._

_We always saw each other, even in the time off between tours, vacations and all that, so yeah, that’s one thing I love about him, I guess. I love that we are still buddies and that’s because I really, really love talking with the guy. You know what I mean?_

_We could talk for days and still have some bullshit left in the tank to go on for weeks. You really can talk about everything with him, you know? I mean it! He knows a little about everything, he is very acculturated –but don’t tell him that, eh!, he’s gonna make fun of me forever for saying that. But that’s the truth, man!_

_But what I like the most is that… he is really a good listener. Anyone who says otherwise— I call bullshit, man, you’ve never really met him. He likes listening to people, and he makes you feel listened to. You don’t get that very often, I tell you._

And, last but not least, James.

Here is where the mystery lies: usually this is the type of thing that drags out your shared sense of humor. Even him stayed serious through all of it?

_Oh wow._

_Lars, Lars, Lars…_

_Eheh, I guess I don’t know where to start with the guy because we’ve been together for such a long time, you know? So, it’s all wrapped up in…_

_I don’t know, man. There is one thing that comes to mind, I don’t know if it’s the right answer or anything but… well, I know both he and I believe in the ‘truth of the moment’, so I guess this is my truth..._

_For the moment. Eheh._

_Anyway, I think… I think I’m gonna go with how affectionate he is, even with grumpy old me, eheh. He always been like that, I don’t know if it comes from his upbringing, from his being European or just plain Lars-ness, but he just asks, you know? If he wants a hug, a shoulder to lean on, a piggy ride, whatever; he just asks for it. He feels like it and he does it. He is not ashamed of it, like I was in the past._

_Ok, maybe that’s more like what I envy about him, ah!, but I also love it, his…_

_His freedom._

_That’s it, I love his freedom, he always has been a free individual. Free with his affection, never chained to someone else’s ideas. There were times… maybe in the ’90 where I thought he was caging himself into… I don’t know, whatever, not the point._

_That’s what I always liked about him: he is truly free._

There is a pause, but the video goes on.

James laughs –his nervous laugh— and moves on his chair.

_See? I still kinda struggle with it, but I got better!_

Then the video ends.

˜

There is a knock on the slightly open door.

«Can I come in?»

«Yeah! Go on, Lars.»

And Lars does, and the first thing his eyes end up on is a tennis ball.

_(two weeks ago, maybe ten days. exactly where i left it, on the floor, near the wall. such a pissing mood that day, needing to wind down, and the best way to do it is to hear a tennis ball hit the diamond plate wall protection in james hefield’s personal room, right? nothing like the big twunk you get from that to express frustration)_

The next thing is James at his desk –glasses on his nose, a clear intent direct at the monitor in front of him.

He goes behind him, while James keep scrolling and ignoring him.

_(a highly focused james?? best way to get this guy curious)_

Lars stands there, behind his back, and bends until his chin is propped up on his friend’s head; his arms fall over broad shoulders and rest there, hanging against the warm Motorhead shirt, comfortably.

He blinks at the screen and the millions of calendars on it.

«Whatcha doing?» he asks, idly.

«Scheduling,» comes the curt response, then the hand on the touchpad stops for a second and Lars feels the head under him moving slightly upwards, «for the kids, you know. This morning I said yes to Francesca about tomorrow shoe shopping, because I didn’t remember any prior engagement, but then… you know, was I _really_ that sure? So, I started checking for that, and now I’m checking everything six months from now.»

He listens to James’ laugh vibrating through his skull and he just… relaxes: he simply hums in reply, closes his eyes and let his chin slide –his cheek now cushed onto soft hair.

_(much better)_

He only sags a little, really, not too much, he doesn’t actually weight on him, just leaning on a bit and listening to the soft sounds in the room.

He can feel himself slowly decompressing.

«I saw the interview.»

_(because that’s why i came here)_

«Uh?»

«The interview we all did separately this afternoon, I saw it, they showed it to me.»

_(on an impulse, sure, but that’s the reason)_

The clicking stops and his head sways gently with James’.

«There is something… wrong?»

Lars can’t help but giggle.

«That’s what I said.»

«What _…_?»

Oh, and Lars can see in his mind James frowning, he can feel that James wants to turn his head and look at him.

He just grins and keeps his eyes closed.

«Ok, long story short? Long story short.»

˜

_About Rob? One good thing? Just one? I mean –have you met the guy? what is there not to like?_

_Ok, but seriously: he is so strong. And not only in the way that I could use him as a piggy ride after show –actually, I should start doing that— but in all seriousness, he’s got this strength that’s not like, regular strength, you know? RAWR! MUSCLES! BENCH PRESSING! LIFTING MOUNTAINS!, all that bullshit. Not that, more like… like… water! Wait, wait, don’t laugh! I swear this makes sense._

_So, I have this friend who is a martial artist and one time we’re talking about strength and power –stay with me, I swear this is going somewhere and I even know where. Anyway, we’re sitting, talking and then my friend starts babbling about water, that when she does karate, she tries to be like water. And I am like “do you mean slippery?”, mpft, you know: what does that even mean? But she is serious, man, and said “yes but not only.” To wrap it up because I’m seeing your face: being strong like water means being fluid, fast, surpassing every obstacle, slipping past but at the same time hitting hard; have you ever jumped in the water and not done it right? That shit hurts. Water can be a wall. There is nothing you can throw at this man that he can’t face and live to tell the story. And I have him in my corner. How cool is that? How cool he is? Did I make you a little jealous? You should be: I’ve got a Rob Trujillo! What’ve you got, uh??_

˜

«Do you know what I said about you?»

«Shoot.»

Now James has completely abandoned the previous task; hands no longer near the computer, back against the chair, just listening to him.

Lars, eyes still closed, smirks.

«That I would marry you in an instant.»

However, that doesn’t go where he wants to.

«Oh, Larsie-poo, you should have said that before!»

Lars loses the smirk.

« _No_ ,» he pouts, «you’re supposed to say: “but, _Laaars_ , we’ve been married for 30- _blablabla_ years”. That’s your line!»

« _I_ choose my lines, you little Hitler.»

He pouts harder and tie his arms around his neck, half-heartedly hitting him on the chest. James, of course, starts snickering.

«But it’s our running inside joke! I love inside jokes! And they are not running anymore if you don’t _run_ them.»

«All right, all right», James chuckles and puts his hands on Lars’ elbows, «compromise: I’ll say that if you tell me what you actually said during the interview.»

«That’s what I said! I _swear_!»

Used to Lars’ Oscar-winning performance, James starts shaking his head, annoyingly as possible.

Lars feels his cheek swinging but tries to stay on top; still sulking, he blindly attempts to grab the offending face.

«Stop moving!»

Succeeding in putting rough palms on that ridiculous mug, he holds it still, feeling the skin creasing against his thumbs – _the edge of a smile._

He finds himself mirroring it and opens his eyes.

He really makes an effort to stay serious and turns James’ face up.

_(eyes on eyes, crinkling in mirth)_

«What do you think I said?»

«Something too brainy.»

Lars snickers but doesn’t give up.

_(never give up)_

«Oh, _come on_ , guess.»

«I want dinner.»

«After you guess.»

«Just tell me, Lars.»

˜

_Damn you, dude! You stole my answer! Ah, yes, I saw your interview, “acculturated”? Really? I want a shirt with that, “ACCULTURATED PERSON, exclamation point, certified by Kirk Hammett.”. Yeah, yeah, I cheated, what can you do? Life isn’t fair, boys and girls. But it’s fair this time because Kirk got to go first and got to say what I wanted to say, so now I’m going to resort to babbling about how I love his passion. Really, I love passionate people, the ones who are genuinely in love with what they are talking about and don’t give two shits about sounding crazy or obsessed. I’m like that too! Why should I care about what are you saying if you yourself don’t? So yeah, dude, I love talking nothing with you and still go home happy at whatever little hour in the morning. On the contrary of what one might think, I can’t do that with everyone. Is this enough? Oh no WAIT! I got it! Ah, I got it! Kirk, I fucking love your sense of humor. There, one thing I like. He cracks me up every time and 30 plus years in the game I still can’t predict what shit is gonna come out of his mouth. The pun master, Kirk Hammett._

˜

«Remember when you asked me to define what the word “trust” meant to me?»

«And you refused?» James scoffs, «Yeah.»

«I gave my answer.»

«I don’t understand.»

Lars just smiles at him, softly.

«C’mon, let’s get dinner.»

«No. Tell me.»

«You get grumpy when you are hungry, c’mon.»

Lars gets up and detaches himself from him, heading to the door, but James catches his hands and hold them –hanging in the air— looking at him from below.

_(with such an intensity that—)_

«I hate when you do this.»

«Oh, please,» and Lars lowers his hands but James holds them and squeezes, not letting go, keeping them right where he wants.

He squeezes again, hard, and looks down, at his feet; gritting his teeth, searching for words through a fog of anger and fear.

«No: I _hate it_ , I hate that you get to be in my head but I don’t get to be in yours. It’s just—»

His eyes go up again, fast, to deliver the sentiment, to make Lars understand that—

_Wiggling eyebrows._

Lars’ stupid wiggling eyebrows, that’s what James is met with.

He frowns, frustrated –still gripping tight.

«And what’s _that_ supposed to mean?»

«That you got it in one.»

His eyes are big, and clear.

«I— what?»

He wriggles those damn eyebrows again.

«That I…»

And it finally dawns on him.

**_And it hurts._ **

He lets Lars’ hands go.

«You love that I’m not in your head?»

**_It hurts so much._ **

But Lars’ eyes locked on his, serious and open.

_Steady._

«Say that again, but without any negative particle.»

˜

_James is…_

_Look, I’m not sure if I already said this somewhere else, another interview or something but—_

_As long I can connect with James, then I’m safe, I’m good, it’s gonna be ok._

_And more time passes, more I appreciate that; because beck then I couldn’t articulate or intellectualize it. That’s why when we play, create music, I try to stay right in front of him, I need to see him, it’s just— I don’t know, a sensation, I guess. One gaze and we are already 15 steps ahead of everyone but on the same step. Does it make sense? So yeah, I choose that: one thing I love about James Hetfield is that he makes me feel safe, completely safe._

There is a little pause, but the video is still rolling.

James is a bit transfixed on Lars’ face on the screen, looking directly at him.

But then—

_A snort._

He doesn’t know where the sound comes first –from his side or from the screen.

His eyes dart quickly from the real Lars, to the recorded one and then again to the real one.

Just in time to see a perfect grin paint itself slowly on that known –but always damn surprising— face.

«So, James.»

_So, James._

He hears, echoing smugness.

«Did I make you squirm?»

_Did I make you squirm?_

He just gapes at him.

Lars starts giggling like a loon.

_And that’s what happens when you make an album so full of aggression,_

_boys and girls…_

The recording goes on.

_You don’t have any left for each other!_

But either of them pays it any attention.

_How about that, uh?_

James just blinks and—

_Is that enough? Are we done?_

«You _absolute_ **dick**.»

Lars laughs even harder.

**Author's Note:**

> THEY LOVE LARS. LARS LOVES THEM.  
> That’s it. That’s the message.
> 
> Last thing: English is not my first language, so if you find any mistake, please feel free to point it out! 
> 
> Ok, last _last_ thing: if you’d like, a lil “is this the real life or is this just fantasy?” section.
> 
> >> NOTES/FACT CHECKS/TRIVA:
> 
> -MOST IMPORTANT THING: the _“As long I can connect with James, then I’m safe, I’m good, it’s gonna be ok. And more time passes, more I appreciate that; because beck then I couldn’t articulate or intellectualize it.”_ LARS REALLY SAID THAT. I’M NOT MAKING IT UP. It’s in an episode of It’s Electric, in which Lars is interviewing Les Claypool. If you are curious, I can give you the YouTube link and the timestamp (if you love James-Lars dynamic… do it, words like “musical soulmates” were thrown around.)
> 
> -Oscar-worthy impression: if you never experienced “Lars’ Oscar-winning performance”, you are missing out.
> 
> -it’s TRUE that Lars jammed with Tye in the past, Rob said it in a super cute interview abt his relationship with his son
> 
> -it’s also true that Lars and Kirk always hanged out with each other between tours, especially in the ’90. They were drinking buddies.
> 
> -Again, true fact that Kirk stopped drinking recently (and for that this interview is set in 2017-8), he said that in a So What! Interview with Steffan (I can give you the link if you like), the same one in which he talks a bit about what personal issue he had during the creation of Hardwired (remember that our KH wasn’t so much in the studio for this album? There are Serious Reasons TM why)
> 
> -If you don’t like/never experienced Kirk’s purple shoes, you are really missing out.
> 
> -When James says _“There were times… maybe in the ’90 where I thought he was caging himself into”_ in the fic was NOT TRUE but! It’s based on numerous interviews where Jason, him, Kirk and Lars himself talks about the ’90 and how when one of them strayed from the path into… fame and bad stuff, the other four would take the guy, corner him and make him realize what was happening. Kirk said that they did that to him, at some point; but also, Jason heavily implied that Lars was also one to need that type of intervention. Good bros, all of them.
> 
> -For the Lars love fest speech part: I tried to do a sort of stream of consciousness, but not quite; I just wanted to give the “casual talk” feel you get when you listen to an interview, so there are errors, logical jumps, sentences not ended, changing subjects, repetitions (you don’t know how much frustrated I got writing all the ‘know’ in the James’ bit, my brain screaming for synonyms). So! I hope it doesn’t sound too dumb? I tried to insert their specific speech patterns: all the you know, I mean, man, dude, etc. Also, the “eheh” is very prominent in James’ bit because when he is embarrassed, or anxious, he laughs. I swear it’s not only me noticing but the man himself admitting it in the commentary of SKOM.
> 
> - _«Remember when you asked me to define what the word “trust” meant to me?»_  
>  «And you refused?» James scoffs, «Yeah.»  
> This also happened and it’s reported in This Monster Lives, SKOM book. It’s a part of the infamous fuck scene. I have a link to the transcript of that part, if you are interested, BUT I HIGHLY RECOMMEND you buy that book (I got mine for 0.99 cents), because it’s full of QUALITY CONTENT AND TEARS.


End file.
